You Got a Raise?

Imagine that you received a promotion at work that came with a nice raise in your salary. This is a pleasant surprise and will provide money that you had not expected. So, what would you do with it? You are excited to share the news with your spouse, but when you do, a conflict ensues.…

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You Are Contagious

You have a pretty good day at work, no major complications or problems.  You are feeling pretty good – and then you walk in the front door.  Your spouse has not had the same positive day that you have.  He had a conflict with his supervisor, an argument with a co-worker, and his computer’s hard…

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Would You Like Some Help?

While those sound like good kind words; an offer to assist, to provide support – individual’s reactions often don’t seem appreciative. Why? I have found myself trying to carry an armload of stuff (probably too much stuff) to the recycle bin, and my wife says, “Would you like some help?” To which I reply, “No,…

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Worrying Together

People worry.  Ok – not a news flash but it is a true statement.  While it rarely accomplishes much, except to stress us out, we continue to do it.  Some deal with worry by doing something physical – like jogging or going to the gym.  Others want to talk about it, perhaps with someone they…

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Words Generate Feelings

As Jennie sat with her friend Lisa over coffee, she said, “David is such a pig.  He never cleans up his messes, he doesn’t put anything away, he gets the milk out and then leaves it on the counter – his inconsideration is driving me crazy.”  Needless to say, Jennie was frustrated and felt safe…

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Winning

Last week I shared with you some of the story of Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher a couple that was married for 86 years.  Herbert died at 105 while his wife was 103.  What was striking about this couple was that they did not just endure for 86 years but they vibrantly engaged in life together,…

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Will You Be Stopped?

I was recently drawn in by the words of a Pastor who wrote, “What would you do in the name of love?  The best romantic comedies show us the lengths that people will go to for love.  Great displays of affection, extravagant acts of passion and feeling, beautiful offerings of words and sentiment and devotion. …

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Why?

“Why did you let the kids run around in the backyard in their pajamas?”  “Why did you eat donuts for dinner?”  “Why didn’t you do your homework?”  “Why did you say such a hurtful thing?”  We ask why a lot.  We ask it of our kids, our spouse, and sometimes those whom we supervise at…

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Why Should I Cherish My Spouse?

Over the decades, wedding vows have changed from pretty traditional and predictable to often very inventive.  In the more traditional vows, the word “cherish” was often included.  I still remember some of the lyrics of the song “Cherish” by the Association, performed in the 60’s. Cherish is the word I use to describe All the…

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