Divorce: Embrace Your Kids

I want to write this morning about a relationship issue that deviates a little from what I normally talk about.  This is not about relating to your spouse or significant other but about relating to your children.  And more specifically, relating to and helping your children after you have gone through a divorce.  So, for…

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Digital Invasion

I don’t know if you have heard one of those commercials where the mom is texting, the daughter is posting on facebook, the son is playing video games, and the dad is watching sports.  As the commercial continues, it says something to the effect of “this weekend – unplug.”  The commercial reinforces what research is…

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Why Can’t We Just Get Along

I have had many couples in my office wonder this very thing.  Why are they in constant conflict?  Why do they seem to argue non-stop?  Why do they leave for work day after day, angry at their spouse?  Why do they disagree about seemingly everything?  What happened to this relationship that began with so much…

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Overcoming Conflict

In a recent interview a number of therapists were asked about recommended strategies for overcoming conflict.  This is such an important topic as unresolved conflict can severely erode the foundation of a relationship to the point that it begins to topple.  I want to adapt a few of their responses today to apply toward the…

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“Let’s Just Be Friends”

The Millennial Generation (those born after 1981) is growing up in a whole new world when it comes to rules of social engagement.  They do not tend to view technology as simply a resource to enhance communication – they see it as the lifeblood of their relationships.  And with this comes many dangers.  Some of…

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Actions Trump Words

I recently sat with a couple who were in the heat of a disagreement.  They had an argument that morning that had begun small – over a misunderstood comment but was then followed with the phrase “you don’t support me.”  From there things went down hill at full throttle.  But why?  He was completely offended…

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BUT

Why is it that there is such disparity in people’s degree of success, happiness, and enjoyment of life?  There are no simple answers and I am sure there are a variety of contributing factors for these differences.   But one reason, that I want to discuss today is “but.”  It is a word that sometimes is…

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Live Longer

“That really makes me mad.”  “I am livid.”  “I’m seeing red.”  These are all statements of anger.  Sometimes we leave anger unexpressed and other times express it – maybe too much or inappropriately. There are a number of anger centers throughout the world that are designed to help people express anger.  At one center in…

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“I”

There is a great deal of talk in this day and age regarding “getting my needs met,” “what I need to be fulfilled,” “what I want,” and so on.  This generation is often labeled by its needs, expectations, and entitlements.  I find it not surprising that in the wave of technological advances, we have the…

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I Love You

I noted some interesting trends as I was reading a recent worldwide study of thousands of couples.  One of the findings indicated that among the happiest couples, 85% of both men and women said those three magical words at least once a week – “I love you.”  Now, you may read that and think, “well…

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