Hanging Out

“I just say, ‘Yes Dear,” was his response. Of course, you are wondering what the question was. We were recently privileged to attend the anniversary party for a couple who have been married 65 years. Wow – that is longer than I have been alive (though not by much). At 88 and 85, Elinor and…

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Boost the Economy

Did you know that marriage can improve the economy? You might be thinking, “Well, of course it can. I mean have you seen how much it costs to put on a wedding? Think about it – you have the venue, flowers, save the date cards, invitations, reception dinner, the band or DJ, the hotel, the…

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How Many Shades? – Part 2

Last week we began a look at some thoughts in light of the new movie, Fifty Shades of Grey, and writings on the subject by Hailey Smith.  (If you missed it, you might want to go to the website and read it – http://www.ifitherapy.com/blog/).  We left off with, “We as ladies are living a double…

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How Many Shades? – Part 1

It has been interesting to read all of the hype, hear about various interviews, and overhear conversations between people about the movie (based upon the book), Fifty Shades of Grey. While I am not in the habit of giving this space over to others, for this week and next week I want to condense and…

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More Good Kissing News

The functions of kissing were the subject of a recent study.  Researchers wondered what is it about exchanging saliva that couples find desirable.  As a part of nearly every culture in the world, kissing has been found to be a great source of information gathering.  Now while that may sound strange, think about it.  You…

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Why?

“Why did you let the kids run around in the backyard in their pajamas?”  “Why did you eat donuts for dinner?”  “Why didn’t you do your homework?”  “Why did you say such a hurtful thing?”  We ask why a lot.  We ask it of our kids, our spouse, and sometimes those whom we supervise at…

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Text Your Way to Intimacy

Texting and smart phones have brought the world to our fingertips in so many ways.  While our parents didn’t have access to these tools growing up – “for better or worse,” we do.  They are now a source of both communication and distraction. One research study discovered that nearly 20% of couples feel closer to…

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Childolatry

I know that this isn’t an actual word, but it is a term I came across recently that I thought was very fitting.  Elevating our children to a level of priority that was never intended and is actually unhealthy for all involved is to what “childolatry” refers. Studies consistently report that couples who do more…

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Sex – Part 3

In this final installment of discussing sex, I want to encourage you with a brief look at how to better crawl into connection with your spouse.  While that may seem strangely phrased to you, I am wanting you to picture getting into a place of safety.  Perhaps as a child you had a favorite tree…

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Sex – Part 2

Last week we looked at the Gottman Institute study that demonstrated a connection between day to day partnering and increased levels of sexual intimacy.  Over time, the study determined, that the sexual connection was sustained when the wife felt respected and understood.  And these two components are communicated by accepting influence from one another and…

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