Responding to Crisis

On July 6, 2013, Asiana Airlines Flight 214 from South Korea crashed short of the runway at San Francisco Airport.  The plane struck the ground with the tail hitting a seawall.  Three flight attendants were ejected.  One of the remaining flight attendants, Lee Yoon-Hye, helped hundreds of passengers get safely out of the plane and…

Radical Acceptance

I recently heard a client make the statement, “My husband doesn’t accept me.”  When I asked for her to give me more information, she went into a lengthy list: “I go to bed too early, I don’t vacuum correctly, I take too long getting ready in the morning, I don’t set the table the right…

Is Your Partner Good Enough?

While this may seem like a strange question, it is one that was raised recently by author Robert Frank.  He discusses a conversation between two women in which one verbalized her frustration and wondered aloud why she kept chasing after guys that had no interest in her.  At this same time other guys in whom…

A Kiss a Day . . .

Can a kiss a day keep the doctor away?  Wow – wouldn’t that be great!  If that were the case, if kissing could be both fun and healthy, how cool would that be?  In a recent interview, Andrea Demirjian, author of “Kissing: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about One of Life’s Sweetest Pleasures,” offered…

Prepare for the Storm

Couples always come to see me for counseling because they are in crisis.  Now you are reading that and probably thinking “Ah, well, yea!”  I know – nothing profound about that.  I sometimes think it would be nice if a potential client called and said something along the lines of, “Hi, my wife and I…

K.R.M.F.

It was recently brought to my attention that there is a disease that most of us have experienced, if we are parents.  It is one that we have rarely named, but we know when it is happening.  One author calls it Kid-Related Marital Friction.  Even as I write that term, there are probably a variety…

Love Me Like the Dog

During this past week, I sat in my office with a couple that was definitely experiencing some disconnection issues.  As the husband expressed his frustration regarding how his wife was treating him, he said, “I just wish you would treat me as good as you do the dog.  I would be happy if you would…

5 to 1

I have a question for you today.  What kind of comments do you make to your spouse?  Are they positive, encouraging, supportive, and uplifting or do they tend to lean more towards the negative, critical, and belittling side? Marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., reveals that couples who are most happy and stable offer five positive…