It is the middle of the night. You wake up because you are cold and it quickly becomes evident as to why. Your partner, once again, has taken most of the covers. How do you address it? Yank all of the covers in retaliation, wake him or her up and voice your complaint, or let your mate know the next morning the seriousness of your frostbite? (Ok – that might be an exaggeration, but we often find ourselves making that kind of a “big deal” of this type of situation).
While there are a number of different ways to approach a conflict, I want to suggest one today that you might try. Instead of getting retaliatory or heavy handed in addressing a conflict, why not try and lighten up the mood. In our busy lives of work, sleep, cleaning, pulling the weeds – playfulness can disappear. Yet, that might be exactly what is needed for a given conflict.
Some think that intense communication is the only way to handle a seemingly serious issue. However, one research study found that couples who tease and poke fun are happier and reach more peaceful resolutions.
Taking the situation given above, it might be helpful to create a playful nickname such as “Blanket Monster” or something that could take the edge off of a frustrating situation. Lightening the mood may then enable you to creatively find solutions to a given problem.
While it is important to make certain that your teasing is playful and not hostile, finding ways to convey that you are having fun can be helpful. This might be with facial expressions or non-verbal cues. So – as you encounter a frustrating or irritating situation this week – before you jump down his or her throat – throw some fun at it and see if you perhaps get different results.