I remember as a young child when friends of my parents got a divorce.  It was a complete surprise.  This couple appeared to get along well, at least in public, and seemed to like each other.  Yet, without much warning, it was over.  What happened?  You may have seen similar situations unravel before you or you may have been surprised when your own marriage unexpectedly came apart.  Again – what happened?

I want to examine three common mistakes that can erode a marriage and lead to its demise and look at how to prevent them from happening.

Mistake #1 – Aggression

Couples sometime engage and verbal aggression and out of control tempers, mistakenly believing that their relationship can handle it.  Yet, it is not surprising to hear individuals report what a life-sucking drain this is on their marriage.

Mistake #2 – Repression

Oftentimes, in order to avoid a conflict, couples will end up dissatisfied because they are not disclosing their wants and needs.  They may seem happy but by not addressing the things that are bothering them, they are allowing the life to drain out of their relationship.

Mistake #3 – Denial

Sometimes in order to preserve the picture of harmony, loved ones will brush aside problems or try to put a positive spin on them.  “He criticizes my cooking daily, but I appreciate his honesty.”  Eventually, someone snaps.

Two Tips to cut these mistakes off at the pass:

Tip #1 – Stop the aggression

I have heard spouses say, “I would be happy if she would simply treat me with the same patience as she does her co-workers.”  Give your partner, the most important person in your life, at least the same kindness, consideration, and patience that you give others.

Tip #2 – Address instead of Repress.

With both repression and denial, communication is not happening.  It is imperative that individuals proactively address concerns before these concerns erode the relationship.  If it bothers you, love your mate enough to respectfully raise the issue in conversation.

These two tips could help to reenergize your relationship.  What do you need to address today?