Now at first glance, that question may be confusing. Someone once described addiction as “any coping mechanism or substance used to escape feelings.” This can refer to a variety of issues: alcohol, drugs, gambling, and sex, just to name a few. And one of the ways that a sexual addiction can show up is in the use of pornography.
Pornography is often used to suppress or avoid dealing with feelings. And while the use of pornography can wreak havoc on a relationship, the single most impacting factor is the lying, deceitfulness, and the overall dishonesty that usually accompanies the addiction. Many say that this broken trust is more damaging than the sex act itself.
So, what are some ways that couples can recover from or even avoid pornography addiction in the first place? Some suggestions from the Lasslers, who are therapists dealing with sexual addiction, include:
- Accept that pornography is unhealthy
- Be remorseful for the harm caused by the use of pornography
- Seek counseling to address the “whys” and the underlying issues
- Be completely truthful about your sexual history
- Become safe people for each other – verbally, physically, financially, sexually, and spiritually.
- Be willing to discuss triggers in an open and safe manner
While It may not actually be healthy to be “addicted” to your spouse, it is healthy to be openly, honestly, and intimately connected with him or her. Pursue your mate like there is no other and be amazed at what the relationship can become.