Have you ever had those times when your significant other seems upset or out of sorts? It may be that he or she is unusually quiet or they simply appear to be distant or cold. So, what do you do? Well, if you are like most of us, you ask, “Is something wrong?” or “Are you OK?” Then comes the well-worn response of, “I’m fine!” Yet, your gut clearly tells you that everything is not fine.
This wall that I would call the “You should know wall,” is one where our mate expects us to be so in tune with their emotional needs that we should know that they are upset and the reasons for it without having to tell us. But the reality often is that we don’t know. So, under the guise of “I’m fine,” our partner slams cabinets, sulks, and gives us the silent treatment.
This wall is no fun and is so unnecessary. If you don’t tell us, we don’t know. And I would say this is especially true of us “not always quick to pick up emotional signals” guys. If you want us to know something, you may need to grab a 2×4 and whack us upside the head (not literally) and tell us what you want us to know.
A far better strategy than the “You should know wall” is a decision to communicate what you mean, what you are feeling, and what you need. I encourage you to begin to try that this week and see if maybe you can remove a few more bricks from your walls.