Relationships Tip Tuesdays
March 9, 2021
Do You Have a Windshield Wiper Marriage? – Part 2
Last time we began to examine whether or not we might be in a “Windshield Wiper Marriage.” This was defined as a marriage that gets the job (of raising kids) done but without necessarily interacting as spouses. Just as the wiper blades effectively keep the rain off of the windshield, those blades never interact. While they are designed to operate that way, marriages, on the other hand, are not intended to function in this manner. Unfortunately, when they do, couples can find themselves 20 or 30 years into a marriage only to find themselves married to a stranger – a person they no longer know. And perhaps, no longer want to know.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. There are steps you can take to prevent it, or, if you are already in the thick of it, strategies to recover from it. I want to suggest three steps that you and your partner can take toward a healthier relationship.
1) Get reacquainted with your spouse. You need to know your mate as well as be known by your mate. It is critically important to keep up to date with not only the daily activities and current social calendar but also with what is going on in your spouse’s heart and mind.
2) Your spouse needs to become your priority human relationship – more important than your kids, your parents, your friends, your work colleagues – more important than anyone else.
3) Actively talk through conflicts. Don’t sweep them under the carpet, otherwise they will smolder, turn into resentment, and build walls.
While it is easy to get into “Windshield Wiper” mode, it is more important that we take the needed steps to get out of it. Healthy interaction is a much more satisfying and fun way to live!