She came into my office loaded for bear. The previous weekend she and her husband had gone to his company Christmas party. While there, one of her husband’s co-workers began to talk with him. She giggled as they recounted “inside” jokes and stories regarding customers. In the course of the conversation, she even touched his arm a couple of times with a familiarity that drove his wife up the wall.
As you can imagine, his wife did her best to put on an appropriate smile for the party, but inside she was smoldering. As they drove home, icicles hung in the air. Her husband was aware of the tension but was actually a bit clueless as to why she was so withdrawn. Arriving home, he casually asked, “Are you ok?” It is was as though he had lit the fuse on a stick of dynamite. She exploded on him about what she observed and how she felt. Whether in the position of the husband or the wife – some of you have been there.
Why does flirting garner this kind of reaction? Because it feels like a violation. While you may not be able to put your finger on it at the time, you clearly feel as though your spouse is giving something to another that should be meant only for you. And you react.
Intimate and playful joking should be reserved for your spouse. But here is the cool thing – it can be. Do you want to flirt? Super! You can, and it can be lots of fun – with your mate. I am sure that in the past you flirted with your husband or wife. And the great thing is – you can do it again. Even though you may be out of practice, I want to encourage you to revisit flirting with your spouse. If it has been a while, you may have to practice. But oh what fun that can be!