In the beginning of our marriage, we probably said, as a part of our wedding vows, “For better for worse.” Very simply, we declare these words to our spouse because we will have “better” times and we will certainly have “worse” times as well. But when the more difficult times come, how do we respond?
Sometime the struggles appear around issues with the kids. Or they may be evident through interactions with our parents. Even more likely is that we will experience stress in some area of finances. When these occasions come, which they most certainly will, we too often find ourselves wanting to place blame. Since we certainly don’t want to own responsibility, we are more likely to shove it over onto our spouse. Yet you have to ask yourself, “How effective does that prove to be?” Most of us would have to answer – “Not very effective at all. As a matter of fact it is usually destructive and builds walls between us.”
When we find ourselves as couples experiencing these challenging times, we will fare much better if we will, together, forge ahead into the storms. Rather than trials coming between us and our spouse, they are truly opportunities that should push us closer together. If we are willing to team up with our spouse, it makes the storms much more “doable.” I encourage you this week, and as we approach the beginning of a new year, to look for ways to become allies with your mate when faced with difficulties rather than adversaries. You will be more effective, and it will be a lot more pleasant!