It has been a long week, working long hours with unexpected emergencies at the office, and frankly, you’re exhausted. You are so very much looking forward to Saturday on the couch with an afternoon of college football. As you gather your favorite snacks and beverages, you flip on the TV. You are just about to prop your feet up when you’re wife says, with an irritated tone, “What do you think you’re doing?”
You see, she knows you have had a long work week because she has been picking up the slack at home. She has come home from work each afternoon and helped the kids with their homework, fed the dogs, made sure dinner was ready, and a host of other responsibilities. She is exhausted and has been looking forward to Saturday when she figured you would be home to take over so that she would get a break.
Both individuals are tired and need some relief and some rest. Actually, they both have reasonable expectations. The problem is, they never communicated what they were thinking; they just assumed that their partner knew. So often we have well-thought out plans in our head that crash into the plans in our spouse’s brain because those thoughts are simply not verbally put out in the open. As one author stated, “Bad marriages are saturated with differing assumptions.”
Today’s tip is a simple one – rather than leave those rational ideas and expectations inside your head, let them out. Let your mate in on what you are thinking. He or she will appreciate being included in your thinking process.