There is a tribe in South America that has discovered a creative way to catch monkeys. Taking a large gourd with a long narrow neck, they put fruit inside it and place it in an area frequented by monkeys. When a monkey smells the fruit, they instinctively go the gourd, look inside and, seeing the prize, reach in to the bottom and grab the fruit. Though he attempts to pull the fruit out, he is unsuccessful. You see his hand was open when he reached in but once he has grabbed the fruit his hand will no longer fit through the opening. Now you and I can survey the situation and clearly know what needs to be done – let go of the fruit.
Unfortunately, those monkeys don’t think to let go. Instead they struggle and struggle to get their hand out. But as long as their grasp is tight, they are stuck. They want what they want and their unrelenting grasp will lead to certain death. Oh what foolish creatures.
But I wonder, are we really that different? We sometimes find ourselves engaged in a conflict or argument with our spouse. It is truly a meaningless argument, and we know it. But now that we are engaged, we want to win – sometimes, at all costs. We may say mean and hurtful things, we may attempt to manipulate things to our advantage. We can see that our mate is getting more hurt by the minute. We know we should stop talking before it is too late. But instead, we continue to clutch our need to be right and to win. I have seen far too many couples teeter on the brink of marital death all because they won’t release their grasp.
This week when you find yourself about to die on one of those meaningless hills that will only serve to alienate your spouse – here is my tip – don’t. Instead let go and choose to love. See the difference that it makes.