One of the struggles that I frequently hear couples discuss is how to spend time together. When they were dating – it was easy. They couldn’t seem to spend enough time together and there was never a shortage of things they enjoyed doing – together. But then they got married – they had kids – life got busy and complicated. Spending time together became a lost luxury at best and completely foreign at worst. Simply having a date night became a scheduling challenge – trying to find a night that they both had free – working to arrange a babysitter, and so on. I think most of us can remember those days.
Being a priority to one another is essential for a healthy relationship. Knowing that your partner wants to spend time with you is critical. But what do you do? “We don’t seem to have much in common anymore.” “We used to like skiing but she doesn’t seem to enjoy that as much as she used to.” “Frequently, we would go on long walks and talk. But he is not as inclined to do that as he once was.” “We tried to come up with a list of things that we could do, but we had real difficulty deciding on things. We discussed going to a movie or out to eat but agreeing was hard.”
These are very common complaints. So – here is the most important thing to know about finding something to do. It’s not about the movie – or the dinner – or the concert – or the hike. It is about being together. There are certainly activities that I enjoy doing more than others. But honestly – the most important thing to me is not whether or not I get to do the activity – it is whether or not I get to spend important time with my spouse.
How can you make your spouse a time priority this week? Making the event about him or her is the beginning of laying the foundation for a healthier marriage.