Lisa walked into the room, took one look at Sammy and, without saying a word, turned and walked out. Perplexed, Sammy silently wondered, “What was that all about?” Thinking that perhaps Lisa had come into the room and then remembered something else that she needed to do, he went on about with what he was doing. It was only when Lisa returned a couple of hours later and asked, “Are you in a better mood?” that Sammy had a clue that something was up. He responded with, “What are you talking about? My mood is fine.” She continued with, “Well it wasn’t earlier. I know because you had a furrowed brow.”
As silly as that conversation may sound, it is all too common that people make judgments as to what someone is thinking based completely on their facial expressions. Now certainly these kinds of non-verbal cues can be helpful with interpreting more accurately what someone is saying. But when we rely completely on someone’s facial expression to decipher what they are thinking, we are in dangerous waters. I know people who look mad when they are mentally trying to work through a problem, look annoyed when they are texting on their phone, or appear bored when they are actually listening intently.
So, today’s tip is a simple one – be careful when concluding a person’s thoughts based solely on facial expression. When we do that we have just a great of a chance at guessing wrong as we do at surmising correctly. A much better approach, when I want to know what someone is thinking is to ask. No guessing is required. Otherwise, I may hear the other person respond with, “What face?”