Today’s children learn to read in pre-school and do advanced algebra in kindergarten. Well, maybe it just seems that way. But back in the Stone Age when I was in kindergarten, we learned more of the basics – like how to nap, play nice, and not eat the paste.
I was reminded of those basic relational skills this past Valentine’s Day when I read some words offered by Pope Francis. He was speaking to an audience of 25,000 people when he suggested the following recipe for marital success – three simple words – “Please, thanks, and sorry.” Now you may be thinking – “well duh, everybody knows that.” Really? We may have all learned it at one time or another but have often forgotten just how much power those words pack.
These basic skills of 1) making a polite request (instead of a demand), 2) expressing gratitude (instead of criticism), and 3) apologizing (instead of blaming), can reinvigorate a marriage. When we are on the receiving end of “please, thanks, and sorry,” we love it and wish there was more of it. So why do we have such difficulty offering these words to those we love?
There could be a hundred different reasons that we might give to explain our resistance. Yet acquiring that insight or explaining our behavior doesn’t really matter. What matters is using these words to let our spouse know that we respect them enough to be polite, grateful, and appropriately apologetic. This week try these words that we learned in kindergarten (and from the pope) with your most significant relationship and see what magic might begin to unfold.