“Hmm – I think so, but that seems like a loaded question.” Nope – no loaded question. I think when we ponder the matter we probably find ourselves wanting our mates to be honest and forthcoming with us about pretty much everything. But how about with regards to sex? “See – I knew there was a trick.” No trick. It is simply a topic about which many people communicate dishonestly or don’t communicate at all.
Sexual desires and preferences are an important component of our intimate relationship. Yet, so many are fearful that they will hear something that they don’t like or that perhaps their partner doesn’t even want them – that they would rather avoid the topic all together rather than take that risk,
There are no standards regarding a couple’s sexual desires – as far as normal frequency, when, where, etc. It is up to the two parties, together, to determine. But there has to be communication and compromise. If there is an unspoken need or concern, which leads one partner to question his or her place in the relationship, the other partner has the right to hear about it – even if it is a bit of an uncomfortable conversation.
I encourage you to find a time outside of the bedroom (perhaps over coffee) to honestly talk with your mate about your needs and desires as well as theirs. Honesty may open an entirely new set of possibilities!