I still recall being at a Parent-Student dinner when I was working as a school counselor in California 30 years ago. I worked with some great students and one in particular who I was anxious to brag on to his parents. As I greeted his father, I began to speak of the tremendous strides his son had made during this particular school year. Etched in my brain is his father’s response. “Well, all I know is that when he turns 18, is out of here.” This was said in front of his son. Wow! I was stunned.
While it may be easy to make babies, it requires effort to parent. But if we have kids, we are called to parent with intentionality and purpose. I want to highlight the results of some recent studies to support this premise.
- Spending time in everyday family leisure activities, such as: board games, playing outside, watching TV, etc. is associated with increased emotional bonding within the family.
- Children in families that participate in religious activities together are more likely to report seeing expressions of love and affection between their parents.
- Children whose dads spend leisure time with them away from the house, such as: movies, sports, and shared meals, tend to have better academic performance.
- Adolescents whose parents are involved in their daily lives tend to exhibit fewer behavioral problems.
- Children who have close relationships with their parents are less likely to engage in violence.
- Adolescents who have regular dinners with their families are at a lower risk of substance abuse.
Now I know that even if you were to do all of these things, there are no guarantees that you will produce a perfectly well-adjusted well-behaved child. But you certainly increase the odds. When we had our kids, we hopefully accepted the responsibility that comes with parenthood. I encourage you to ponder these statistics and, if you’re not already, begin to parent with purpose.