Last time I talked about what it takes to make a date night a reality (Which can be challenging). Intentionality becomes important at times in getting all of those necessary details coordinated. In discussing some of those strategies with a couple in my office this week, they raised a different but related question – What constitutes a date night?
They had become pretty lax on making date night a priority and slipped into a pattern of taking care of business but calling it a date night. For example, they would get the kids put to bed and sit on the front porch with calendars in hand and coordinate who was driving which kids to which school and extra-curricular activities for the month. Following the scheduling, they would return inside to resume whatever they had been doing – watching TV, cleaning the kitchen, etc. But I would question, was that really a date night?
Some would counter that unless the evening requires getting dressed up and going someplace fancy, it doesn’t qualify as a date night. But I wonder if that doesn’t take things to the other extreme?
For young parents, trying to make every date night a production can be a heavy lift. It might even lead to just giving up on date night. But I would suggest that the three critical components of a true date night are: intentionality, presence, and connection.
Whether date night is dinner and a movie or planning a picnic in your back yard – if you are intentional in setting aside the time and planning it; you are undistracted and fully present (ditch the phones), and it leads to stronger connection, that might just be a date night.
I encourage you to think outside the box and be creative. As I mentioned last time, if you come up with any great ideas, I would love for you to let me know. Happy dating!