I hope that everyone reading this knows nothing about patterns if abuse. It is my wish that none of you have ever been abused and certainly have never been an abuser. However, I know that this is not true. And the patterns I am referring to today are those of emotional abuse. This is probably…
DetailsI still recall being at a Parent-Student dinner when I was working as a school counselor in California 30 years ago. I worked with some great students and one in particular who I was anxious to brag on to his parents. As I greeted his father, I began to speak of the tremendous strides his…
DetailsIf you have more than one child, you have probably at some point felt “ganged up on” by the kids. Knowing the power inequity they experience, because you are the parent and they are not, they often find strength in numbers. It is to be expected. However, what you didn’t count on was being ganged…
DetailsIn a recent interview a number of therapists were asked about recommended strategies for overcoming conflict. This is such an important topic as unresolved conflict can severely erode the foundation of a relationship to the point that it begins to topple. I want to adapt a few of their responses today to apply toward the…
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As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I talk with couples a lot about communication. We all know how to open our mouths and speak words, but that is no guarantee that we actually know how to communicate. Good communication requires a few skills combined with a lot of intentionality. Today I want to talk about…
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“What do you mean, am I defensive? What are you saying about me? Maybe I sometimes stick up for myself when somebody is attacking me? And, well, I may at times feel as though I have to explain why I did something. But defensive, why would you say that?” We have all been there. Someone…
DetailsHave you ever noticed how opposites seem to attract each other? An extrovert marries an introvert; a spontaneous person connects with a scheduled planner; or a “neat freak” is drawn to someone who leaves things scattered everywhere. While to some this may seem strange, many have experienced this. You see, we are often drawn to…
DetailsIn a study released last year by the American Sociological Association, it was discovered that Americans with siblings are more likely to stay married than those who were only children. The Ohio State University researchers found that each sibling a person has, up to seven, decreases their risk of divorce by 2%. Now at first…
Details“Only one?” you might ask. Well, no – there is not just one thing that will lead to greater security, but this is one that I want to focus on today – and it’s relatively easy. “Affection.” No, I am not talking about sex. While that certainly has the power to be bonding, sex is…
DetailsI have recently come across some old cassette tapes of music that I have loved from years gone by. I have been converting these into CDs so that I can still enjoy these classic bands in my car. I am amazed at how powerful these old tapes can be in transporting me back in time…
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