It has been a long week and you are looking forward to Friday night. Between work, the kids, and your parents – you are exhausted. You are in dire need of rejuvenation; of an energy boost. So, you approach your spouse to discuss what the two of you might want to do with, what has…
She came into my office loaded for bear. The previous weekend she and her husband had gone to his company Christmas party. While there, one of her husband’s co-workers began to talk with him. She giggled as they recounted “inside” jokes and stories regarding customers. In the course of the conversation, she even touched his…
A couple recently sat in my office – intense, unhappy, and bearing down on their marriage with the same exertion required to open a very tight jar. In other words, they were working really really hard but were not having success. The marriage was no longer fulfilling and they both felt unable to meet the…
Now you may read that title and think, “Well, it sure isn’t her,” or “I let him think he is.” The reality is this – most of us don’t like to be told what to do. While we may like to be in control, rarely do we like to be controlled. I sat with a…
You get up to go into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Your spouse asks. “When you come back would you bring that small container of ice cream?” Inside your head (maybe outside of your head too) you say, “What am I, your slave?” We have all thought it and most of us…
We all get into routines. Sometimes they are good ones – like brushing your teeth. Other times, not so good, such as yelling when you are frustrated. As a result, there are certainly those routines that we want to hang on to while others we need to jettison as quickly as possible. For example, a…
It Is 3:00 AM and it is starting again . . . his snoring. You lay in bed getting more irritated by the minute. Part of your irritation is because you can’t sleep, which of course contributes to you being tired, which in turn contributes to your irritation. The longer you listen to the snoring,…
“Well,” you think, “I live with my spouse,” or “my spouse and our kids.” While that is certainly true but I’m looking a little deeper. You see, when we get married we typically feel that we are marrying the ideal person. However, as the months and years go by, we may begin to find them,…
We all make mistakes. Whether big or small, knowing that we made them can take us to healthy growth or unhealthy reactions. I sometimes hear individuals make statements such as, “People shouldn’t feel guilt over things that they have done.” However, I would tend to disagree with that thought. As a friend of mine from…
You find yourself in one of those discussions again that just doesn’t feel good. A disagreement has arisen with your spouse and you are trying to work through it. But something is eating at you. You find yourself irritated and you are not sure why. You feel as though you are being condescended to; almost…