There is an old Jewish saying that if you dance at a lot of weddings, you’ll cry at a lot of funerals. In essence, saying that if you experience wonderful relationships, it will be sad when they end – because they were good.
I have worked with people who have lost everything from their car keys (pretty temporary) to the death of a parent (more permanent – this side of heaven). We lose jobs, friends, pets, marriages, and the list goes on. Loss is a normal part of life.
But many work hard to avoid loss of any kind. I have worked with some military families that move about every three years. Some avoid making friends because they know they will have to walk away in three years and they don’t want to experience the sadness. But in return, they have a pretty lonely existence. Similarly, I know those who won’t own a pet because, at some point, they die. I have outlived my share of dogs in my life and it is very sad when they die, but that is because they brought such joy when they lived.
Needless to say, if I lose a job I hate, a friend who mistreats me, or a car that is a money pit, I won’t mind. But if it is something that I love and has brought me joy – I will feel loss. And that is a normal part of life.
We are better off learning to grieve than we are avoiding loss and missing out on the joy. In other words, I will gladly go to the funerals because I got to dance at the weddings. Next time I will address grief in a little more detail.