Ok, now that I have your attention – this is not really about voting . . . but it is about single issues. I am reminded by a couple that was in my office yesterday. They are stuck on a single issue. It doesn’t really matter what the issue is – it is the fact that one issue can define their entire relationship, if they let it.
The issue could be: finances, sex, parenting, in-laws, chores, and the list goes on. But whatever it may be, one person cannot look past that one issue to any others. For example, a couple may have a disagreement regarding the healthiness of the food they eat. One wants to eat fruits and salads while the other wants pizza and ice cream. While it should certainly be a discussable topic, they may not come to swift agreement. It may take several discussions, learning from and about each other in the process, before they arrive at compromises. But what is life like in the mean time?
Some spouses can’t seem to interact civilly until the issue is resolved. They can’t sit and watch TV together and hold hands, they can’t go for a walk together, nothing. Until that singular issue is resolved, they seemingly can’t continue relating. It is almost as though they are waiting the other person out until they get their way. I know you may think I am talking about school children but I am referring to grown adults.
When we live in a singular issue relationship, we are basically proclaiming – getting what I want on this topic is more important than you! Is that really the message that we want to communicate? I encourage you this week to focus on loving your partner more than your issue.