For many couples, this can be a trigger word. I have certainly worked with spouses who are both pretty spontaneous, which typically works OK. However, the bigger challenges are faced by those husbands and wives where one is spontaneous and the other is not.
There are those who like to fly by the seat of their pants while there are others who find comfort in having a plan. They feel more secure in knowing what they are going to be doing. One approach is not necessarily better than the other. But all too often couples can get entangled in the debate of which approach is best. While spontaneity all the time might not be practical, some level of spontaneity can foster a sense of playfulness and even strengthen our connection with our mate.
I want to suggest, particularly if you’re a planner like I am, a couple things you might try to embrace a little more spontaneity in your relationship.
First, be willing to try something new. This might be as simple as going to a new restaurant or playing pickle-ball, or taking a cooking class together. It will be a new experience for both of you and you just may discover a new activity that you enjoy doing together.
Secondly, say “yes” to something that wasn’t on the agenda. Last December, my wife and I were on a vacation to Palm Springs. At the last minute she discovered that one of our favorite jazz musicians was going to be there, but the concert was sold out. With tenacity, she called the venue anyway and learned that they had two seats left. Needless to say, it was a pleasant surprise and resulted in a great evening.
While spontaneity doesn’t work all the time, given an opportunity, you might just enjoy it when it does. Why not take a chance?