Your husband comes home angry and yells at you. Your wife makes condescending remarks to you in front of the kids. Your spouse says hurtful things to you that don’t seem fair or accurate. How do you respond?
Perhaps, in your woundedness, you lash back – speaking harshly of them in front of others or responding in some other passive-aggressive manner. If you are honest with yourself, you really just feel like “getting back at them.” While that may feel good for a moment, rarely does it ever solve anything or improve the relationship. If you were to slap me and I slapped you back, it would in no way reduce the sting in my face.
The only way to experience healing and to arrive at a place of peace is to forgive. Until we are able to do that – we are locked out of the possibility of experiencing freedom, healing, and peace.
Now I fully realize that this is “easier said than done.” You may be thinking, “You have no idea the awful things that my spouse has said or done to me, the verbal abuse I have endured, the cutting remarks I face on a daily basis.” You are right – I don’t. But what I do know is this – when you decide, and are able to forgive, you take back control of your own fate and feelings.
Forgiveness can be difficult. You may need to talk with a friend or pastor for support. Don’t give up. Your healing and well-being are worth it.