Last time we began to explore commitment and what that might look like. In defining commitment we saw that it is both a dedication to someone but it also restricts our freedom. While restricting our freedom may at first seem like a negative, it really isn’t. I used the example of marrying my wife. When I did that, I dedicated myself to her and by doing so, I was willingly restricting my freedom of action. In other words, I, by my choice, no longer had the freedom to go out and date. If I did, it would nullify my supposed dedication.
The first “Face of Commitment” that we examined was the importance of following through on things that we say we will do. Today I want to take a look at remembering the big picture during conflict.
I see many couples who have a disagreement, and until it is resolved, they are not OK. I find that puzzling. It is as though they are saying, “Until we resolve this conflict or agree on this topic, we are at war. And if we don’t resolve it – the marriage may not make it.” While we may not be thinking that, we certainly act like it.
However, if I know I am married to my wife until the end of our lives, then disagreements take a back seat to my love for her. We may have a conversation in which we are unable to resolve a disagreement at the moment and may need to table the topic. But we don’t have to go to our separate corners in the meantime. We love each other and that is not going to change. We can sit and hold hands as we watch TV because nothing has changed – we are still married and will continue to be.
This an important face of commitment.