Remember those days when you were dating – you were a team; you had each other’s back; if someone maligned one of you, the other came to your defense. It was you against the world.
Then you got married- and for a while, you still were each other’s defender. But slowly, over time, something began to shift. Your mate criticized one of your friends. But rather than agree with them, you came to your friend’s defense. One of you questioned an action that one of your parents took, and your mate took their parents side. What was happening? Instead of you two against the world, it was becoming you against each other – and that wasn’t fun.
If that sounds like you – it’s time to get out your team uniform (wouldn’t that be cool – if you had one?) and get on the same side again. I have a couple of suggestions that might help you accomplish that,
First, parents can be the first battle ground. They may still think of you as their little darling and want – extra time at holidays or some type of preferential treatment over your in-laws. Be alert or you will quickly find that it is you and your parents against your spouse. That will not play well.
Second, is your kids. I think our kids come with a brain already hard-wired to split their parents, because they are so good at it. They will use whatever is at their disposal in order to get what they want. So, if they can get their parents to disagree and split them – the score becomes – Kids – 1 and Parents – 0. Don’t let that happen because in reality it is you and your spouse against the kids.
People want what they want, oftentimes without regard to who it negatively affects. Be aware because it happens all around us. Bottom line – work to once again get back to back and make it the two of you against the world!