First, if you are not familiar with oxytocin, in short, it is a chemical in the brain “believed to be involved in controlling fear, stress, social interactions, love, empathy, and the bonding with and acceptance of others.” It is a chemical that can strengthen good and positive feelings. Who wouldn’t want that?
Last time I wrote about the unconditional love that dogs give to us and what we can learn from that. I want to follow that up with a look at a study reported in the publication “Science.” Researchers discovered that when dog owners gazed into their dogs eyes, it increased oxytocin levels in both the person as well as the dog. In other words, they both felt better. There seems to often be an enduring bond between a dog and its owner.
As I read this, I couldn’t help but wonder why we don’t necessarily gain the same increase in oxytocin when we gaze into our spouse’s eyes, or our kids, or best friend’s eyes? Could it be that we don’t always feel emotionally safe with them; perhaps we feel judged, or belittled; maybe we just don’t feel accepted. If we have those feelings, we certainly won’t feel better.
But our dogs accept us without judgment. What if we could learn to accept each other – flaws and all – without a critical eye? I know the positive feelings from gazing into my dogs eyes. And from that I want to learn how to help those I love gain positive feelings when they look into my eyes. How about you?