What? There’s a problem with independence? Our country was founded on this concept – we even have The Declaration of Independence. How can that not be good?
Don’t get me wrong – independence is a wonderful idea in so many ways. But sometimes it can inhibit a healthy relationship. While individuals in a marriage certainly are independent autonomous people, they are not completely so. If they were, marriage wouldn’t make a lot of sense. We get married for a variety of reasons and some of those have to do with: not wanting to be alone; having a partner to share life’s joys, troubles, and responsibilities with; being a team; and ultimately – being in an interdependent relationship. If we aren’t going to lean on one another, then why are we together?
There are some cultures that emphasize the concept of the group over the individual, which on one hand can have its benefits or on the other extreme can become unhealthily enmeshed. Similarly, there are cultures, like ours, where independence, standing on your own two feet, can be a strength. But when taken to an extreme, it can block the opportunity for healthy spousal relationships.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 states, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor; if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”
So, today I want to encourage you – if you are married, part of a team, or in a cooperative work environment – to remember you are not an island to yourself. You can’t do it all. You are not superman or superwoman. You need to share the load and engage in an interdependent relationship – especially with your spouse.