I encounter so many couples in my office who love each other, but spend very little time together. This makes it difficult to build connection, which if they would do, would continue to fuel their love and their desire to be together. When they were dating, there seemed to be no shortage of things to do (even though some have confessed that they did things they didn’t enjoy when they were dating to keep the other person interested). But now that they’re married, they seem to pursue separate interests. What can be done to improve this situation?
While I certainly don’t have all the answers, I can share a couple of personal stories that are relevant and perhaps they can jump start your thinking.
A few years ago, I had torn a tendon in my angle and was in a big boot while we are on vacation in New Mexico. Our regular snow shoeing was obviously out, so my wife signed us up for a private painting class. Now I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler. But we let go of our inhibitions and had a great time painting our . . . very unique pictures.
More recently, while on vacation, my creative wife signed us up for a cooking class. Hmm – does it require more than a microwave? This wound up being a group of 11 people cooking different dishes in a master chef’s home and then sitting down to dinner together. It was a blast.
I think the key components that made these so enjoyable was spontaneity and a willingness to try something new. And the payoff was developing potentially new hobbies with my spouse. While cooking or painting may not be your thing, trying something new together just might help reignite your connection. Let me know if you come up with any great ideas. I just might want to try them.