“There are just two things I’d need to find out everything I want to know about everyone: 1) Let me see them drive; 2) Let me hear them talk about marriage . . . . That’s going to tell me exactly your relationship to the world.” – Jerry Seinfeld
Most of us would probably agree with the first part of that statement – that is as long as we are talking about the other person’s driving and not our own. However, we probably haven’t thought about the second part of the quote in the same terms. Yet, there is great truth in what he said.
If someone were to overhear you talk about your marriage, would they hear stories of loyalty and love, sacrifice and treasuring, or disgruntled complaints, put downs, and animosity? Because how you talk about your relationship with your spouse indicates how you will operate in relation to your boss, colleagues, and even trusted friends. If you will speak disparagingly about the most important relationship in your life, what will you say regarding the rest of us?
At the same time, if your conversation about your marriage is laced with phrases of acknowledgement, praise, understanding, valuing, and building up – you are much more likely to relate to the rest of your world similarly. Speech that is treasuring in nature is an indication of behavior that reflects those same values.
Examine the words that you speak about your marriage and your spouse this week as you begin a New Year. While they may reflect your feelings about that relationship, they also speak volumes about you and how you relate to your world.