Have you ever had those times when something takes place between you and your spouse, or it could even be between you and a friend – something that really bothers you and you just can’t let it go? It may be something inconsequential or it may be something of great importance to you. Just when you think you have worked through it and put it on the shelf, it sneaks back up and has you spinning again. What can you do to put it to rest without blowing up in an angry outburst? Here are a few suggestions.
First, you have to identify what you’re feeling. It may be hurt or anger, perhaps even betrayal. Until you pause and are able to name that feeling, it tends to just be a bunch of churned up, unfocused emotions that really aren’t very helpful. At the same time, you may discover that it is tied to some past hurt and isn’t necessarily something the individual in front of you has done. Those can be childhood traumas or past relationship hurts. It will really help your current situation to tease those things out.
Second, is there something you need to communicate? You may be feeling dismissed or disrespected and the other person has no idea. So, when you finally explode at them, when they least expect it, you can’t believe how clueless they are. Of course, they may be clueless because you haven’t communicated clearly to them.
It is important that you bring up whatever the issue is so that the two of you have the opportunity to talk about what you are feeling, can clear they air, resolve the issue, and move forward. Just some thoughts on a Tuesday morning.