So, you had a fight with your spouse yesterday. It was a silly fight, in many respects. You found yourself actually arguing over how to load the dishwasher. While not uncommon, you somehow managed to use words that, not only made their way seem inferior, you attacked their character and implied that, as a person,…
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As you think about this, you may wonder, “Which relationships are you talking about?” To which I would say, “Any and all,” especially those that are most significant. A friend of mine recently helped his brother move to the middle of nowhere. His brother doesn’t want to engage with people and just wants to be…
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Last time, we began to look at flexibility (or the lack there of). This morning I want to take a look at ways in which greater flexibility can enhance our relationships. I recently had a client who told me her husband had said to her that he needed all of her tax documents (I am…
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I remember during the summer between my freshman an sophomore years in college, I worked on a pipeline construction crew, where one of my friend’s dad was the project manager. My family went on vacation, with my dad giving me the following instructions – “You are not to have anyone here in the house while…
DetailsA recent article asked this question in a number of ways. It examined attempts that individuals have made to push their bodies to extremes. For example: the longest someone has been able to last without solid food was 382 days; or the most friends (not Facebook friends) a person can have is 150; or the…
DetailsIf everyone reading this were to answer that question, I would probably get hundreds of different responses. For example, some might say, “Well, we sit down and calmly talk about where we disagree and try to come to a compromise,” (this couple we get an “A”). Others might say, “We just yell until our voices…
DetailsThis is a question that many of us ponder, particularly as we get older. Sometimes the answer I hear from an employee might be, “I want to be remembered as a hard and productive worker;” from a neighbor, “as a loyal and trusted friend;” or from a parent, “that I was always there for my…
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Now that may seem like a strange question. You may be thinking, “I don’t want to ‘use’ my friends. That wouldn’t be good.” And I agree. I am asking more about the role that your couples friends play in your own marriage. For example, I know of couples who feel as though their mate never…
DetailsThere is a story told that “Following a parade, the mayor of a large American city was walking with his wife when they passed a man sweeping the streets. The wife recognized the street sweeper as one of her old high school boyfriends. The three had a short conversation before the mayor and his wife…
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I sit with couples on a regular basis who argue and fight. They tell about their conflicts at home and they frequently live those conflicts out in my office. Fortunately, when they are sitting with me, I am often able to redirect them or get them to pause their thinking and consider other possibilities. When…
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