I just finished a session with a couple today that was frustrating for them and frustrating for me as well. Why? Because they are not all in. It won’t surprise you to know that I see couples who are having “issues.” All of them. This couple today was no exception. They have been separated for…
DetailsNow at first glance, that question may be confusing. Someone once described addiction as “any coping mechanism or substance used to escape feelings.” This can refer to a variety of issues: alcohol, drugs, gambling, and sex, just to name a few. And one of the ways that a sexual addiction can show up is in…
DetailsIn 2016 Psychology Today called attention to the fact that smartphones fragment human consciousness. They contend that the habitual use of smartphones lowers our ability to be empathetic as well as diminishes the “quality of conversation.” This is our third in a series addressing technology and our relationships. In the first post we looked at…
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Since, at one time or another, we all get depleted, being able to recharge is important for all of us. Some things deplete us more than others. But one of the quickest things that can zap our energy is high drama people, or emotionally needy people. Extroverts may be able to handle that a little…
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It’s been a long week and you are looking forward to going out to dinner with your spouse. For some reason you have been thinking all day about Mexican food. Your mouth is watering for some chips and salsa. Your mate comes through the door and says, “I’m hungry. I thought maybe we could try…
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Ok, now that I have your attention – this is not really about voting . . . but it is about single issues. I am reminded by a couple that was in my office yesterday. They are stuck on a single issue. It doesn’t really matter what the issue is – it is the fact…
DetailsNow as you read that title, you may think, “Well I guess family would be closer and more valued than just a friend, so I would want to be family.” But are you sure? A past senator from Oregon, who was the father of four children, once said that his wife stunned him by the…
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This is a question that seems to rarely get asked by couples but it can be a valuable one. You see, we date and get married and we know what we have in common. For example, you may know that your new spouse is a Type A personality, while you are not quite as driven.…
Details“That is your dumbest question yet,” you may be thinking. Maybe – but read further before you decide. In a 2013 study, subjects were taken to the tallest hardwood grove in North America. One group was instructed to look up at 200 foot tall eucalyptus trees while the other group was told to fix their…
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