Last time, we began to look at flexibility (or the lack there of). This morning I want to take a look at ways in which greater flexibility can enhance our relationships.
I recently had a client who told me her husband had said to her that he needed all of her tax documents (I am writing this way ahead of April 15th), so that he could get their taxes filed. She was waiting on a W-2 form and communicated that. His response – “Well, I want to file taxes on March 1st. So, if you don’t have it to me by then, you can just file separately.” What? That would be financially foolish – but he wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. How do you think his wife felt?
Compromise is a key factor in marital satisfaction, and being flexible allows greater compromise. If I constantly see things as “My way or the highway,” I’m only going to generate friction and more division. Is that what any of us set out for when we married? No, but along the way our selfish side has snuck out and betrayed us. But genuine flexibility can help with that.
Sometimes things happen beyond our control. When this occurs, we have a choice. I can stomp my feet that things be as I planned. So, what if eight inches of snow fell the day of the party –“The party is going forward, I don’t care how dangerous the roads are.” We have to ask ourselves – “When I behave this way is my spouse drawn to me or does he or she want to run the other direction?”
We have opportunities today to ride the bumps of life with greater flexibility, increased cooperation, and an overall happier life. I hope you will take that ride.