If you are a new parent – this is for you. If you plan to one day be a parent – this is for you too. If being a new parent was 40 years ago – you might enjoy remembering.
I have a client you just gave birth to a baby boy last week. She is a sharp young lady, who, prior to giving birth, read every book out there about parenting a new born and made copious notes. She had everything planned out, preparing for all contingencies. And on top of that – she has learned, from her own upbringing, things she will do and not do in raising their child. She is truly going to be a great mom!
However, as most parents have learned, all the planning in the world can’t prepare you for the realities of new parenthood. The best laid plans crumble under unexpected pressures. So, I want to make three observations:
- The duties are not even. You develop a game plan that will even out all of the responsibilities. But when, the realities of night time feedings hit, along with sleep deprivation, it can feel very unbalanced.
- You may be used to having your own private time to read, play video games, or watch TV. Those “me” times quickly become scarce.
- The parenting crisis hits. You used to have your spouse’s full attention, but now it is split (they may even receive more) time and you have to share their focus, attention, and affection.
During these times it is important to strive for clear communication about needs; it is an important time to remember (and this can be tested) that you are on the same team; and finally, stay flexible and work to make this a time of understanding and growth with each other. Parents who can focus on these things will lighten their load a bit. Happy Parenting.