How Do You Use Your Friends?

Now that may seem like a strange question. You may be thinking, “I don’t want to ‘use’ my friends. That wouldn’t be good.” And I agree. I am asking more about the role that your couples friends play in your own marriage. For example, I know of couples who feel as though their mate never…

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How Do You Support?

There is a story told that “Following a parade, the mayor of a large American city was walking with his wife when they passed a man sweeping the streets.  The wife recognized the street sweeper as one of her old high school boyfriends.  The three had a short conversation before the mayor and his wife…

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How Do You Stop the FIght?

I sit with couples on a regular basis who argue and fight. They tell about their conflicts at home and they frequently live those conflicts out in my office. Fortunately, when they are sitting with me, I am often able to redirect them or get them to pause their thinking and consider other possibilities. When…

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How Do You Resolve Conflict?

You get home from work and once again your spouse has . . . . (fill in the blank).  It could be – left the dirty dishes in the sink, didn’t feed the dog, left the dirty laundry on the floor, or numerous other possibilities.  And with this repeated annoyance – the conflict begins. What…

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How Do You Handle Disagreement?

Whether we are talking about a marriage, a work place relationship, or a friendship – most of us would, at least initially, think of disagreements as a negative experience. While I know that it often feels that way, is it really? Disagreements come in all shapes and sizes. Sometime we have minor arguments – such…

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How Do You Fight?

People respond in a variety of ways to a question like this.  Some might say (because we all want to appear to be reasonable) that they always calmly and rationally discuss disagreements.  Others would answer with an honest expression of “We yell at each other, get it all out in the open and then we…

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