“What do you mean, am I defensive? What are you saying about me? Maybe I sometimes stick up for myself when somebody is attacking me? And, well, I may at times feel as though I have to explain why I did something. But defensive, why would you say that?” We have all been there. Someone…
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According to the annual World Happiness Report, published by the University of Oxford, the United States ranks 24th out of 176 countries. This is the lowest ranking for the U.S. since tracking began in 2012. The number one country, for eight years in a row, is Finland, followed by Denmark, Iceland, and Sweden. The U.S.…
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You are cleaning the kitchen after dinner. As you wiping down the countertops, your mate asks, “Why are you using that scrubber to clean the counters?” Immediately, you find yourself in defensive mode, trying to explain, justify, and defend your actions. Maybe, he or she, is just asking out of curiosity, but you are feeling…
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You may find that to be an interesting question as it could be viewed and answered a number of different ways. You might think, “Well, I live on my own and I earn enough money to support myself, so, yea, I am self-sustaining.” Or you may state, “Ever since I moved out of my parent’s…
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Earlier this week (I’m writing this in late February), I was privileged to be interviewed for the podcast “Pillars of Purpose.” The episode will be aired this summer. During the course of the interview, we got onto the topic of “Leaving a Legacy,” particularly as it related to our role as grandparents. I was reminded…
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Whether it is a holiday, a birthday celebration, or a summer barbeque, family gatherings are always wonderful. Or are they? Often times they are. However, as I work with my clients, I find that they can also be quite stressful. I had one client a few years ago that, in a weird sort of way,…
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I was talking with a client last night about his wife’s love of movies. He said that he didn’t really care for movies because there is too much tension and suspense. I commented that the suspense that is created is for the purpose of allowing the characters to find some kind of resolution. Without the…
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As you read this title, you may be thinking one of two things – “Of course I support my spouse,” or “I used to support him or her, but I’ve gotten out of the habit.” Regardless of where you land, supporting each other is essential for a healthy marriage. Today I want to take a…
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As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I talk with couples a lot about communication. We all know how to open our mouths and speak words, but that is no guarantee that we actually know how to communicate. Good communication requires a few skills combined with a lot of intentionality. Today I want to talk about…
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Now you may be thinking, “My marriage is going great! So, why do I need to spring clean it?” We often think that when the marriage is doing well that we are best off to leave things alone. I mean, we certainly don’t want to mess up anything. But it is when we are firing…
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