Are You a Participant or a Spectator?

My wife and I have been recently watching the television series, “The Crown.” It has been fascinating to learn so much about the modern history of England and the United Kingdom. In a recent episode we learned a little about Princess Alice who was the mother of Prince Philip. As she was lying in bed,…

Details

Are You Absently Present?

In 2016 Psychology Today called attention to the fact that smartphones fragment human consciousness. They contend that the habitual use of smartphones lowers our ability to be empathetic as well as diminishes the “quality of conversation.” This is our third in a series addressing technology and our relationships. In the first post we looked at…

Details

Are You Addicted to Your Spouse?

Now at first glance, that question may be confusing. Someone once described addiction as “any coping mechanism or substance used to escape feelings.” This can refer to a variety of issues: alcohol, drugs, gambling, and sex, just to name a few. And one of the ways that a sexual addiction can show up is in…

Details

Are You All In?

Discovering what you are here to do can be a challenge. From the time that we were young children, we had adults asking us what we wanted to be when we grew up. We might have responded with statements such as, “I want to be a fireman,” or “I want to be an astronaut.” When…

Details

Are You All In?

I just finished a session with a couple today that was frustrating for them and frustrating for me as well. Why? Because they are not all in. It won’t surprise you to know that I see couples who are having “issues.” All of them. This couple today was no exception. They have been separated for…

Details

Are You Alone Together?

“You’re with your other husband again,’ Marilyn’s only husband would say every time she turned to her cellphone while the two were driving to dinner.  She thought he was just being his witty-self.”  But then his words began to get to her. In the last couple of years, I have written increasingly about our preoccupation…

Details

Are You an Addict?

Kevin, a web developer, realized his level of addiction one evening.  He found that he and his wife would come home from work each day, eat dinner half talking, half catching up on things on their cell phones, and then turn on the TV and each zone out in their separate phone worlds the rest…

Details

Are You an Alpha?

Most of us have heard the term “alpha” used in reference to male wolves. It conjures up the image of one who is firmly in charge, running the show, dictating what everyone should be doing. It is a picture of power and control. However, I would contend is an inaccurate characterization of wolves and the…

Details